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How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough vodka for the room to start spinning.

Seriously, who's fricking brilliant idea was it to hold the U21 world championships in Finland? "Hey let's find the country where the press corps will have the least enjoyable time...really stick it to those jagoffs! Ah. here's the perfect place. Highs of 50 degrees...in the summer! *snort*" Well the joke's on them. Me and this case of vodka are having an outstanding time here.

I haven't seen U21 coach magiker since I covered the season 18 America's tournament. Court order. But due to the lack of enthusiasm for scribes to come out to this reindeer shit covered wasteland I'm all he's got for the US press, so I guess we're gonna have to work together as best we can. I found him at the arena wearing a beret and aviator glasses to go with his disheveled suit. Perhaps he thought the foot long cigar he was smoking would distract people from his fashion sense?

Q: So I noticed you didn't actually bring any players...
A: Players?! Dammit, players are irrelevant to the game. It's the system that matters...you have the system, my system, and you just plug players in and it works. I'm hitting up the Finnish orphanages tomorrow for players! Doesn't matter. I won championships with the magiker system and the magiker system is infallible! My precious system...mmmm.

Q: I suppose I can't argue with you since you've won championships in each of your three seasons as coach. But I sure as hell want to. So what's the plan for Monday's game against Hungary?
A: We are not playing Hungary, we are playing Poland.

Q: Umm, no. The schedule says right here Hungary.
A: The schedule is irrelevant!! We will play Poland! They are our only rivals and we must defeat them in a sneak attack at the very first!! It is our best chance for victory against the evil Poles!

Q: uh...
A: I Plan to ally with the Russian team and hit them in a two-pronged attack! Our outside shooters will go first and soften up their defense. They will have no answer for our long range bombers! But they think their interior defense will save them....they are wrong!! We will break though their perimeter defense and take the attack to them until they beg for mercy!! If they think they can take us man to man, the Russians will hit them from the other side!

Q: Sooo, if you just take a minute and listen to yourself...
A: After that, we will steamroll the French team!

You get the flavor, I won't print the rest of the interview...it went on a lot longer that you'd think. I just hope he doesn't get bogged down in the Balkans when we play Serbia and the Czech Republic.

So for what it's worth, the US will possible play Hungary this Monday 9/17. That's the official line, at least. Hell if I know what's going to happen. And this lovely bottle of Findlandia Vodka is telling me not to worry about it.

Last edited by fewmit at 09/14/2012 17:21:05

Poll:  Who will win the season 21 World Championship?

Tough, I'm going to try to say this as nice as possible. I honestly feel most of your comments on the offsite and the forums are just random things that cross your mind, and almost all of the time they have little or no relation or helpful insight to the original topic. If they do, it's often basically a repeat of something someone else has already said. Occasionally they're funny, very often they're not, and in any case most of them come across to me as unhelpful spam, that I have to read while I'm actually trying to read posts or threads that I might find useful or interesting. I expect a lot of other people feel the same way, so I'm going to ask you to please try to limit your posts. Make them directly topical and offering some new insight, and people will appreciate it a lot more.

If you want to know what I mean, this post is a perfect example. Your little pun about Hungary/hungry isn't very witty or funny, you didn't say anything actually constructive, and tbh no one here really cares if you're hungry, or if you're going to eat pizza. There's no point in this post, so why did it need to be made?

I really hope I'm not offending you; I'm not trying to upset you but I think this really has to be said. No hard feelings.

finally someone steps up, like it.........


I've been trying to hear something like that for awhile...............

well finally someone steps up to the plate. thanks man. ok ok so I now I know why a lot of these people are not replying to my training log and The Eagle. It's cause they're just useless "double" post right?

Occasionally they're funny, very often they're not

I see.......so oh well Ima just post in my league and The Eagle from now on, and my training log. That is all....

Game Recap

The media is reporting that at least 700,000 people attended this anticipated matchup of the USA vs Hungary in the first game of the U21 Worlds. No one knows where that number came from, but I am reporting it as if it were fact. Along with coach magiker, the majority of the cabal was in attendance wearing their secret decoder rings.

5 seconds into the game PF Haiko Messlanger hit a jumper to give Hungary the early lead. Immediately magiker grabbed American PF David Huston, dramatically removed his aviator glasses and said, "Foul him. All of the time, everytime," and he did. Messlanger went 0-8 from the foul line as he was distracted by Tough yelling "Hungary? I'm hungry..." jokes from behind the hoop.

The teams battled back and forth in the first half, and at halftime the game was deadlocked at 42-42. Magiker walked into the locker room smoking his trademark cigar. The team became quiet awaiting his speech, but magiker said nothing. Slowly he took his cigar, and put it out on his bare hand. The team shuddered and guard Brian Crum started crying.

I'm not sure if that actually worked because by the end of the 3rd quarter Hungary led 65-62. USA Small Forward Marshall Ray entered the 4th shooting 3-16. Magiker just stared at Ray in the huddle during the quarter break and menacingly made the cut throat gesture. Ray gulped in fear as the team took the court to start the final quarter.

Down by 9 points with 6 minutes left with magiker sharpening a knife on the sideline, the US began to mount a comeback. Led by Power Forward David Huston, the Americans went on a 12-2 run to take the lead with only a minute left in the game! Out of a Hungary timeout, Messlanger missed another set of crucial free throws, but Huston had fouled out. The US made clutch free throws in the final minute to close out the game 92-86.

Huston had a team high 22 points to go along with 11 rebounds, and Center Aaron Meeker also put up an impressive 20 points, 12 rebounds, and 4 steals.

After the game the cabal handed out Capri Suns to the players and everyone celebrated corruption. The US U21 will have a huge challenge ahead if they want to threepeat as Worlds Champions, but a win is a win. Next up, Egypt.

well 700k came from people in the arena (about 25k) then the other 675k were in the street.

I was also holding Messlanger's favorite food in my hand and eating it in front of him he got so mad on 1 FT he threw in my face. Luckily I just took the ball in my hand and said, man these Hungary guys are WEAK. They can't throw cause they fat." lol

so thats why he missed every foul.....anyways USA has one game down, more to go, so how was Huston at the end of game?

anyways after the game ended I got into a fight with Messlanger, resulting in Messlanger being suspended for 1 game now ;)

while I just wlaked away in the shadows with Valter Vasko, who owns a hotel near The arena.....



USA! USA! USA!

wait so is Misr good? Or are they crap?

Is this where Magiker is headed? Crum and Ray would say yes:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/olympics/story/2012/09/15/...

I think it's safe to say that magiker is already there, and he's been there for a while. Still not as bad as Rambo.

Definitely getting a Hunter S Thompson vibe off of him these days. And odor.

(http://theliteraryman.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/hst.png...)