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NT Press Release: 15 and 5
Cryptic press conference leads to blurbs such as “Law number 15” and Law number 5”

For Coach Lord Woody, the goal this season is to maximize point differential.

“Back then, I knew this team could do more. There were games in previous seasons where I felt their potential was not maximized, and that is what I intend to do.” Team Pilipinas is conducting scrimmages and practice drills at an undisclosed location to minimize exposure from the coronavirus.

“Everyone who did not shoot well this season owes me conversions of 250 jump shots, 200 free throws and 100 three-pointers. If we beat the opponents by 50 points, so be it. The more points we get from beating the opposing team, the better. I came in believing in law number 5. If you do not know what I am referring to, I will leave you to figure that out.”

The Filipinos are very heavy favorites to win against Azerbaijan.


Last edited by fpanzer10 at 1/31/2021 11:46:44 AM

NT Press Release: Pilipinas dumps Azerbaijan, 132-50
Balanced attack led to rout

Team Pilipinas took advantage of a clearly outmatched Azerbaijan squad, beating the Azeris 132-50 at the Philippine Arena.

“Let me be clear, I am not Thanos. I have no concern with balance at all. My boys play to win, even if that means winning by as much 50 points. The goal is to win the championship, and that is what I intend to do,” Coach Lord Woody said during the post-game press conference. There are rumors that the Azerbaijan Ministry of Internal Affairs will issue a persona non-grata order to Lord Woody for crimes against humanity.

It was a disastrous outing for the Azeris, who ended the game with a 19.8% field goal clip, including an atrocious 11.5% clip from behind the arc. “We could not guard them (Azerbaijan) when they take their free throws, I wanted to win big today,” leading scorer Paul Emery said after being handed the game ball. He finished the contest with an all-around stat line of 24 points, 6 rebounds, 1 assist, 2 steals, and 1 block in 25 minutes. The Filipinos clearly upended Azerbaijan in almost all categories, with the exception of free throw shooting - Azerbaijan shot a perfect 11 of 11 from the line. Big man Cəmil Babayev led the Azeris with a double-double, finishing the game with 15 points and 11 rebounds in 39 minutes of action.

Team Pilpinas is scheduled to make preparations for their next opponent, 40th ranked Bulgaria. The Azeris, on the other hand, hope to get their first win against 67th ranked Scotland.

Pilipinas NT Rumors: Peñasales seen partying without a mask

In what is seen as the first violation of the team’s coronavirus protocols, Pilipinas star forward Guillermo Peñasales was caught on video partying with a group of women Tuesday night at the Heartbeat Mega KTV with friends.

Initial video footage taken by a netizen shows Peñasales talking to three women working at the KTV while with friends. The group then started dancing to Chynna Phillips’ Naked and Sacred while taking off their masks.

“This is a clear violation of our team protocols, and an investigation will be in order. We’ll see what happens next, I have nothing else to say as of this time. Thank you,” said a team spokesperson via text message.

Coach Lord Woody is unavailable for comment as of this writing.

Team Pilipinas Public Service Announcement: We want YOU

In light of the recent purge that led to managers getting banned for allegedly cheesing the system, Team Pilipinas (U21 and NT) is looking for active managers who would like to share their stories on development or highlight the success of their player.

The idea to create a series centered on player profiles and stories (similar to ESPN’s 30 for 30), and I would like to hear from you. I do not need to know the current stats of your player, you may forward that to our U21 and NT coach. I am interested in knowing your story instead.

Send me a PM if you are interested.

FPZ


Last edited by fpanzer10 at 2/3/2021 2:02:47 AM

Pinag gagawa na bata nating si Paspe. Haha

NT Updates: Rios intoxicated in Tel Aviv

Howell Rios was found sleeping outside his Tel Aviv home with bottles of beer near him.

Concerned neighbors woke up an intoxicated Rios outside his Tzahala home early Friday morning. He had to be held up by three people just so he can stand. When a local journalist came into the scene and asked the Pilipinas national player what happened, Rios groggily said, “I was so upset when I found out the CJ Perez trade pushed through. The PBA has now turned into the WWE. It’s embarrassing.” He eventually passed out and had to be taken inside his house. No police charges nor any deportation proceedings will be filed against the Filipino cager.

Rios is currently linked to NCIS: Los Angeles actress Bar Paly.

NT Preview: Pilipinas vs Bulgaria

Sofia, Bulgaria

The Pilipinas faithful are anxious to watch the seniors game tonight against Bulgaria at an undisclosed location in the nation’s capital - because of an incident 25 years ago.

“The last time I watched the Philippines play against Bulgaria, we were robbed of the gold medal in Atlanta. Everybody knew we were the better team. It still hurts me to this day,” said Amado, a 48-year-old garments factory OFW. “Our big men in the seniors’ team can really dominate the paint, and I see no reason why we can’t beat them with our inside game. I am looking forward to see Rojun (Ibaretta) and Ramsey (Paspe) score at least 15 points each against the Bulgarian defense.” There are rumors of an online petition circulating within the Filipino OFW community for coach Lord Woody to use Bad Boy Pistons tactics against Bulgaria tonight.

In a statement, the spokesperson of boxer and former Olympian Mansueto Velasco Jr. said, “I pray our seniors’ team will win tonight. The blatant biased officiating in 1996 robbed us of our chance to win the gold medal; I hope there will be no ref ball tonight.”


Last edited by fpanzer10 at 2/7/2021 11:05:31 PM

Pilipinas Special Report: Filipino communities cheer NT and U21 teams

In a move of solidarity, Filipino communities in Bulgaria and Hong Kong displayed their support for the U21 and NT teams as they arrived at their accommodation in Sofia and Sheung Wan respectively.

Pushing the limits of social distancing protocols in the city, as many as 60 supporters were waiting outside of the Hyatt Regency in Sofia to great a visibly dejected Seniors squad as they alighted from the team bus. The team was surprised to see people waving the flags of the country while singing “Noypi” by Bamboo. Others were raising “We Believe”, “Laban, Lord Woody” and “Laban, Pilipinas” banners while cheering the team on as they enter the hotel lobby.

“I do not know what to say. That was a tough loss (vs Bulgaria), but we have to focus on the next round. I am happy to see our fanbase come over to support us despite the loss. As a naturalized coach, I am honored to have experienced the hospitality of the Filipino people,” Coach Lord Woody said.

“It’s nice to see your kababayans believe in you even after you played a bad game. That gives us the motivation to do better,” said shooting guard Kidlat Calabria. He finished the game yesterday with 10 points in 19 shots, including 0 of 10 from behind the arc. A couple of fans managed to get to Calabria, giving him a show of support and a hug before he entered the hotel.

In Hong Kong, Pilipinas supporters lined up on Connaught Rd Central to cheer the U21 team bus as they headed to their place they’re staying at after losing against Taiwan, 67-83. A loudspeaker started playing “Puso” by Sponge Cola the moment U21 players and staff started to alight from the vehicle. They were greeted by supporters raising placards that read “Laban Pilipinas!”, “Pilipinas U21 #1”, “We love you!”

“The support is unbelievable, I promise you we will do everything we can to win,” said Coach Jeorge.

Both teams spent 15-20 minutes to thank the people who attended before entering their respective lodging to prepare for the next round.

NT Press Release: Pilipinas demolishes Egypt, 121-38

Team Pilipinas was expected to win against Egypt Monday night, the question was by how many points.

As the first phase of the Consolation Tournament drew to a close, The feisty Filipinos were targeting a win by at least 80 points to move up the standings. “Before the game I told my boys to give no quarter against the Egyptians. It’s a given we will win, but we need to ensure our standing in the Tournament is good enough such that we face an easier opponent when we get to the single elimination phase. I am happy we achieved our goal, winning by 83 points,” Coach Lord Woody said via text message Tuesday morning.

Team Pilipinas’ balanced attack was led by Prudence Oton and Gabriel Hosillos, who finished the game with 19 points each. “Everyone in the team can score, as well as contribute elsewhere when given the opportunity. I look forward to playing our next game against the Swiss,” Oton said during the post-game conference.

The 83-point win gives the Philippines the 12th seed in the single elimination phase of the tournament. They face 21st ranked Switzerland on Monday, February 22. “Getting in the Final 32 is easy. Making sure you stay in the Final 32 is a different thing. We will raise the black flag on Monday: We will train hard and give it our all,” Lord Woody said.

Sidebar:
1) #labanPilipinas is now trending 5th in BB-Twitter

2) The God of Kicks endorser wishes Ramsey Paspe “Good luck” against the Swiss, and to “Come home after the game.”


Last edited by fpanzer10 at 2/17/2021 3:40:30 AM