All Press Releases

That's All Folks

09/16/2013  1 replies    

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08/12/2013  1 replies    

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Fatty Ough (Part 2)

12/19/2012  1 replies    

Philosopher Kings: Then and Now (Part 1)

09/11/2012  3 replies    

Philosopher Kings: Then and Now (Part 2)

09/11/2012  0 replies    

Philosopher Kings: Then and Now (Part 3)

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Philosopher Kings: Then and Now (Part 4)

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The Philosopher Kings

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Abbo(u)tt Time

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07/28/2009  3 replies    

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01/08/2009  1 replies    

Back In The Saddle

12/02/2008  0 replies    

4th Quarter Woes

11/05/2008  0 replies    

The Start of a new Beginning

09/27/2008  0 replies    

DA Finish 2nd in Great 8

07/23/2008  0 replies    

Troubled Times

06/26/2008  0 replies    

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06/12/2008  0 replies    

Press Announcements

That's All Folks

It's official -- the Philosopher Kings have been sold. The news of the sale made its way to media outlets earlier this morning as many fans of the team still littered the streets after a night of hard partying to celebrate the Kings' third and final Naismith championship. Elation and jubilation quickly turned to confusion and sadness as distraught supporters attempted to make sense of the news.

The buyer -- a subsidiary of Planes Fly High Airlines -- is a local flight training school by the name of Auto-Pilot Incorporated. The management group responsible for the purchase has already made it clear that their interest in the team has nothing to do with basketball and everything to do with the giant piece of land that the gargantuan Utopia Stadium sits upon. They intend to slowly convert the stadium into a full-time training facility for aspiring pilots while they milk the Kings' former fan base for every penny they can get. Professional basketball in the city of Philosopher is effectively dead.

Following the announcement of the sale, the Kings' now former general manager RiP took to the podium at a press conference to address the reasoning behind the move, "You know, this is very bittersweet, and to be honest, I don't even know why I'm eating it. I don't even like coffee cake". He proceeded to put down his plate before continuing, "The fact of the matter is that the market for basketball is waning. The owners and I have decided to cash out and instead invest our money in the up-and-coming business of emu farming. We hear it's going to be extremely lucrative! Anyway, despite all this I still want to thank all of the fans and supporters of the team who stuck with us through the highs and lows. We had a great run"

Some of the team's most notable accomplishments include:
- Buzzerbeater's Best silver medalists and two time semi-finalists
- Six time Canadian Cup champions (A Canadian record)
- Three time Naismith Champions
- Naismith point differential record for a single season (+1176)
- Highest world rank: 2nd (2/9/2012)
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By: INA-paul.swbl_697
To: RiP 		371317.2 as reply to 371317.1
01/26/2015 14:20:38
Nice Press Blog :D

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