All Press Releases

Jests Flame Out of Playoffs, Replace Entire Staff

03/24/2014  3 replies    

Jest Bring Back Clemens Petty to Pair Up With Rex Perez

03/08/2014  0 replies    

Jests Reach New Lows in Snoozer, Fan Survey Implodes

01/12/2014  0 replies    

Hunter Macis Added to Hall of Fame

01/07/2014  0 replies    

Rex Perez Wins MVP, Team Rewards Him with More Playing Time

12/20/2013  0 replies    

Jests Expand Court to 20,000 Forget Key Points

12/17/2013  0 replies    

Welcome to Jester Court at The Mecca

06/28/2013  0 replies    

Enrique Ortiz-Tamés Heads Back to Spain

03/28/2013  0 replies    

Season 22 Review

02/28/2013  0 replies    

The Return of Rex

01/09/2013  0 replies    

League Investigating Fighting Kelts

12/27/2012  0 replies    

Le Sigh

12/22/2012  0 replies    

Jests Turn to Moses

12/16/2012  0 replies    

Jests Back to NBBA

11/25/2012  1 replies    

Jests Get a New Toy

09/11/2012  0 replies    

Silver Medals All Around!

08/21/2012  1 replies    

A Single Tear is Shed

07/11/2012  0 replies    

Another Top Team Tumbles at The Mecca

06/20/2012  2 replies    

Jests Take Down Top Team

06/06/2012  2 replies    

Natellio Hired as Director of Branding

02/24/2012  0 replies    

II.3 Gets Risque

02/08/2012  0 replies    

Tonya Harding Spotted in New York

12/07/2011  0 replies    

Jests Prove They Aren't Joking, Extend Win Streak to Four

11/30/2011  0 replies    

Black Book Found in Argaudas Mielinis's Locker

11/27/2011  0 replies    

Jests Win in Front of Packed House

11/23/2011  0 replies    

Zoetebier Guarantees a Win

11/18/2011  3 replies    

Walters Returns to the Lineup

11/14/2011  0 replies    

Jests Wave Goodbye to All-time Leading Scorer

11/11/2011  0 replies    

Jests Short Staffed

11/06/2011  0 replies    

Jests Head Into Opening Day With Heads Down

11/04/2011  1 replies    

New York Jests Relegate for the First Time Since Inaugural Season

11/01/2011  1 replies    

Future Bleak in New York...errr...Virginia

10/21/2011  1 replies    

Lance "Ox" Mattox Honored

08/02/2011  0 replies    

Press Announcements

Zoetebier Guarantees a Win

The New York Jests are reeling after 1 point loss to Hunterkri... Hunterkiroul... Hunt... Hunterkiroala... ah whatever their name is at the last second. The loss dropped them to 8th place, 0-4 start.

"We've got our backs against the wall for sure." Said Darren Zoetebier, the teams longest tenured Jest. "We've got a lot of new guys we have to get acclimated, we've had some people banged up and coming in out of shape but we seem to have everybody on the same page now and we need to hit our stride. Everybody knows what they need to do. We're going to play hard and play like its crunch time. We need to get this win here. In fact, I guarantee we will win this Saturday!"

An interesting motivational ploy for sure as the coach typically doesn't allow the players to speak to the media, preferring instead to lock them in the locker room after practices and games with a rusty steel chain.

When asked for comments on his treatment of the players, the coach replied, "Hey its called a LOCKHER room right? Maybe even these clowns stop playing like girls they can get a little free time outside."

Last edited by Rambo VT at 11/18/2011 11:35:34 AM
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By: INA-Tangosz_676
To: Rambo 		181973.2 as reply to 181973.1
11/18/2011 12:22:35
where's the rimshot when Coach needed it at the end?

In other news, it appears you shot your karmic load on the U21 team.

Reply to this     
By: Rambo
To: INA-Tangosz_676 		181973.3 as reply to 181973.2
11/18/2011 13:37:46
:) Only the last loss probably had to do with "karmic loads"

Reply to this     
By: INA-Tangosz_676
To: Rambo 		181973.4 as reply to 181973.3
11/19/2011 22:56:12
Guarantee paid in full!

WOO!

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