All Press Releases

Eclypze Announcer Suffers Seizure Trying to Pronounce Names

02/25/2014  1 replies    

Steve Williams Terrorizing Cup Opponents

01/10/2014  0 replies    

Despite Poor Start, Smedlock Insists Future is Bright

10/13/2013  0 replies    

Fans Accuse Eugene Smith of Ballhogging in Playoff Loss

05/31/2013  1 replies    

Elar Hell Breaks Loose

01/03/2013  2 replies    

Eugene Smith Emerging As a Superstar

08/17/2012  3 replies    

Bulgarian Imports Seek to Make Big Impact

04/28/2012  1 replies    

14,000 Fans Turn Out at The Q to Watch Exciting Duo

03/10/2012  0 replies    

New Rookie Joins Team

02/06/2012  4 replies    

Connie Mcintyre Changes Jersey Number

02/01/2012  0 replies    

Back to the Drawing Board

01/24/2012  5 replies    

Super Team Assembled; Let the Winning Commence

11/07/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Trounced by Underdog Team in Playoffs

10/26/2011  2 replies    

The Nemesis Inducted into Eclypze Hall of Fame

08/10/2011  4 replies    

Forward Search Update

08/03/2011  0 replies    

Smedlock Looks to Acquire Star Forward

07/30/2011  0 replies    

Team Looks to Regroup After Disappointing Playoff Loss

07/23/2011  0 replies    

The Nemesis Decides to Take His Talents to South Beach

05/25/2011  4 replies    

Smedlock Answers Charges of Cult-Like Practices at Training Center

05/09/2011  1 replies    

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

04/13/2011  4 replies    

Fans Very Excited About New Player to Join Team

03/01/2011  0 replies    

Terrible Performance By Team Against the Tornados

02/23/2011  0 replies    

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

02/15/2011  0 replies    

Fans Exasperated At Owner Selling Off Players Again

02/10/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins Title; Nemesis Wins MVP

01/11/2011  1 replies    

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

11/28/2010  0 replies    

Australian Superstar Adam Laulala Joins Eclypze

11/09/2010  0 replies    

Farewell Juan Kern

10/24/2010  0 replies    

Serial Eyebrow Shaver on the Loose!

10/13/2010  1 replies    

Who Shaved Kern's Eyebrows?

09/20/2010  0 replies    

Rookie Nemesio Xermade Beasting Over the Competition

09/07/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Files Lawsuit Against Eugene Register Guard

09/01/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

08/10/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins The Trophy!

06/30/2010  0 replies    

Spiritual Guru From India Hired as Trainer

05/29/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Requests Trade

05/01/2010  0 replies    

Star Rookie Horacio Unites with Long Lost Brother Barbu

03/05/2010  7 replies    

Press Announcements

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

We have disturbing news to report: Eclypze superstar Horacio Saiz Perez attacked rookie sensation Nemesio "The Nemesis" Xermade in the locker room with a knife. Nemesio was able to avoid the brunt of the blow and suffered only a grazing hit along his ribs. It is unclear what provoked such an attacked, here is an account from veteran Juan Kern: "yeah dude we was just chillin in the locka room after a big loss against The High Tops yo. We lost real bad and Horacio was flippin yo. All the sudden Nemesis and Horacio get in an argument in rapid fire spanish (Nemesio is Latino). We had no clue what they be fightin about then Horacio pulls out a knife and goes at Nemesis. It took all of us to get Horacio on the ground, that dude is strong as a motha-f---"

Here is team PR manager's take on the incident, "you know, Horacio was upset ever since we traded his brother Barbu Popescu to a team in New Zealand. He also wanted to play in Europe to be closer to his gypsy family in Romania. The team has also been losing a lot lately and he didn't take to kindly to that. All of his frustrations just boiled over that moment in the locker room. We are lucky no one was injured."

Ecylpze and The Nemesis declined to press charges, instead trading Horacio to a Finnish team where he can enjoy playing basketball among the reindeer and eskimos.

Despite all of the turbulence and difficulty this year, Eclypze fans continue to show their loyalty by selling out the arena every game. We wish to thank Eclypze fans and let them know we are making moves to one day create one of the best teams in the nation.

Last edited by smedlock at 8/10/2010 4:34:17 PM

Last edited by smedlock at 8/10/2010 4:34:43 PM

Last edited by smedlock at 8/10/2010 4:36:05 PM

Last edited by smedlock at 8/10/2010 4:36:48 PM




By: INA-Hassan Donnelly_295
To: smedlock
66317.2 as reply to 66317.1
08/10/2010 22:02:44
he might be a crazy sob, but that dude was shaping up to be one of the best SFs i have ever seen. if i had had the money, he would have been playing against you on my team for the next ten years. good luck with the tall dude from . . . what? China?

Reply to this     
By: smedlock
To: INA-Hassan Donnelly_295
66317.3 as reply to 66317.2
08/11/2010 14:48:01
Yeah he was shaping up to be a special player.

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