All Press Releases

Eclypze Announcer Suffers Seizure Trying to Pronounce Names

02/25/2014  1 replies    

Steve Williams Terrorizing Cup Opponents

01/10/2014  0 replies    

Despite Poor Start, Smedlock Insists Future is Bright

10/13/2013  0 replies    

Fans Accuse Eugene Smith of Ballhogging in Playoff Loss

05/31/2013  1 replies    

Elar Hell Breaks Loose

01/03/2013  2 replies    

Eugene Smith Emerging As a Superstar

08/17/2012  3 replies    

Bulgarian Imports Seek to Make Big Impact

04/28/2012  1 replies    

14,000 Fans Turn Out at The Q to Watch Exciting Duo

03/10/2012  0 replies    

New Rookie Joins Team

02/06/2012  4 replies    

Connie Mcintyre Changes Jersey Number

02/01/2012  0 replies    

Back to the Drawing Board

01/24/2012  5 replies    

Super Team Assembled; Let the Winning Commence

11/07/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Trounced by Underdog Team in Playoffs

10/26/2011  2 replies    

The Nemesis Inducted into Eclypze Hall of Fame

08/10/2011  4 replies    

Forward Search Update

08/03/2011  0 replies    

Smedlock Looks to Acquire Star Forward

07/30/2011  0 replies    

Team Looks to Regroup After Disappointing Playoff Loss

07/23/2011  0 replies    

The Nemesis Decides to Take His Talents to South Beach

05/25/2011  4 replies    

Smedlock Answers Charges of Cult-Like Practices at Training Center

05/09/2011  1 replies    

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

04/13/2011  4 replies    

Fans Very Excited About New Player to Join Team

03/01/2011  0 replies    

Terrible Performance By Team Against the Tornados

02/23/2011  0 replies    

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

02/15/2011  0 replies    

Fans Exasperated At Owner Selling Off Players Again

02/10/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins Title; Nemesis Wins MVP

01/11/2011  1 replies    

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

11/28/2010  0 replies    

Australian Superstar Adam Laulala Joins Eclypze

11/09/2010  0 replies    

Farewell Juan Kern

10/24/2010  0 replies    

Serial Eyebrow Shaver on the Loose!

10/13/2010  1 replies    

Who Shaved Kern's Eyebrows?

09/20/2010  0 replies    

Rookie Nemesio Xermade Beasting Over the Competition

09/07/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Files Lawsuit Against Eugene Register Guard

09/01/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

08/10/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins The Trophy!

06/30/2010  0 replies    

Spiritual Guru From India Hired as Trainer

05/29/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Requests Trade

05/01/2010  0 replies    

Star Rookie Horacio Unites with Long Lost Brother Barbu

03/05/2010  7 replies    

Press Announcements

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

A few days ago, Eclypze owner Smedlock announced that he would be selling off the team once again. This caused outrage among the fan base, who saw no apparent reason to rebuild when the team was 5-4 and poised to make the playoffs. In the past fans had been willing to tolerate Smedlock's vision of short term sacrifice for long term gain, but fans had felt that the "long term" had arrived. To go into another 1-2 season rebuilding mode was more than they could tolerate. Fans were particularly outraged at Smedlock's stated goal of "not to relegate" rather than more loftier goals like promoting or even making the playoffs.

As furious fans called the front office around the clock, Smedlock performed an about-face. Rather than going after a young American PG prospect, Smedlock has decided to buy several veterans and make a push for the playoffs. It appears the new team will substitute the depth of the previous team for star power. They may not win every game but the new team will have the capability of beating anyone, anywhere, anytime.

In a statement to the press, Smedlock had this to say: "we have heard the fans loud and clear that they are tired of tanking and endless roster moves and are ready to compete now. I have changed plans to acquire a young superstar prospect and instead have decided to go after talented veterans who can take us to the playoffs. We feel our new players will be even better than the old ones, as their great shooting talents will exploit the many teams in the division who are mostly oriented around their big men. Unfortunately this will mean our front line will be light but we have high hopes that Eugene Smith and The Nemesis perform well at the big men spot while our guards light it up from outside."
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