All Press Releases

Eclypze Announcer Suffers Seizure Trying to Pronounce Names

02/25/2014  1 replies    

Steve Williams Terrorizing Cup Opponents

01/10/2014  0 replies    

Despite Poor Start, Smedlock Insists Future is Bright

10/13/2013  0 replies    

Fans Accuse Eugene Smith of Ballhogging in Playoff Loss

05/31/2013  1 replies    

Elar Hell Breaks Loose

01/03/2013  2 replies    

Eugene Smith Emerging As a Superstar

08/17/2012  3 replies    

Bulgarian Imports Seek to Make Big Impact

04/28/2012  1 replies    

14,000 Fans Turn Out at The Q to Watch Exciting Duo

03/10/2012  0 replies    

New Rookie Joins Team

02/06/2012  4 replies    

Connie Mcintyre Changes Jersey Number

02/01/2012  0 replies    

Back to the Drawing Board

01/24/2012  5 replies    

Super Team Assembled; Let the Winning Commence

11/07/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Trounced by Underdog Team in Playoffs

10/26/2011  2 replies    

The Nemesis Inducted into Eclypze Hall of Fame

08/10/2011  4 replies    

Forward Search Update

08/03/2011  0 replies    

Smedlock Looks to Acquire Star Forward

07/30/2011  0 replies    

Team Looks to Regroup After Disappointing Playoff Loss

07/23/2011  0 replies    

The Nemesis Decides to Take His Talents to South Beach

05/25/2011  4 replies    

Smedlock Answers Charges of Cult-Like Practices at Training Center

05/09/2011  1 replies    

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

04/13/2011  4 replies    

Fans Very Excited About New Player to Join Team

03/01/2011  0 replies    

Terrible Performance By Team Against the Tornados

02/23/2011  0 replies    

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

02/15/2011  0 replies    

Fans Exasperated At Owner Selling Off Players Again

02/10/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins Title; Nemesis Wins MVP

01/11/2011  1 replies    

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

11/28/2010  0 replies    

Australian Superstar Adam Laulala Joins Eclypze

11/09/2010  0 replies    

Farewell Juan Kern

10/24/2010  0 replies    

Serial Eyebrow Shaver on the Loose!

10/13/2010  1 replies    

Who Shaved Kern's Eyebrows?

09/20/2010  0 replies    

Rookie Nemesio Xermade Beasting Over the Competition

09/07/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Files Lawsuit Against Eugene Register Guard

09/01/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

08/10/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins The Trophy!

06/30/2010  0 replies    

Spiritual Guru From India Hired as Trainer

05/29/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Requests Trade

05/01/2010  0 replies    

Star Rookie Horacio Unites with Long Lost Brother Barbu

03/05/2010  7 replies    

Press Announcements

Farewell Juan Kern

The last remaining member of the original Eclypze team has decided to retire. After a devastating injury versus the Supersonics Saturday night, Kern has decided to hang up the high tops. Kern has always been a productive player who has brought veteran leadership and experience on both the court and in the locker room. Season 12 was Kern's best season as he shot 50% from both FGs and 3PTs in which he was ranked top 100 in the entire world that season. He also scored 13 points in just 22 minutes per game, and had a 4:1 assist to turnover ratio. He was a key part in propelling Eclypze to their first ever league championship in season 12. There are also rumors floating around that Kern may be Eclypze's first ever HOF inductee.

Kern is believed to be interested in the assistant coaching job available on the team next season. In the meantime he says he plans to spend a lot of time at the bars and clubs getting to know some of his many female fans.

Last edited by smedlock at 10/24/2010 5:33:21 PM
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